I smile, Bette, at you in your blue jeans and white halter top. Your bare feet and painted red toes on the dashboard. I cringe a little, your hungry voice taking shrill bites out of a Journey song. We are traveling the dark highway headed for our favorite motel on the cape. The one where Aphrodite checks us in. I watch you unpack, everything folded then unfolded and hung. The morning is over the top in splendor and a walk will do us good, you say. We come to Provincetown center, and walk to the end of the pier. Bette … Continue reading It Doesn’t Get Any Better Than This

You are embraced by Grief, Some think for too long. You are asked to let go. They do not understand. To let go is betrayal. I have always been faithful. * Continue reading Grief’s Hold On A Widower

I am a widower, yes. I have our two cats, yes. I have family & friends, yes. I have my faith, yes. I have my music, yes. I have my books, yes. I have my walks to our beloved park, yes. Will I swing on our swing? Yes. Will I see you at the picnic table with an open basket? Yes Will I see you on the sofa, watching our favorite movie? Yes. Will your stretch and yawn, forever be etched in my mind? Yes. Will I sleep and dream of you? Yes. Will grief always be with me? Yes. … Continue reading The Affirmative Widower

The days are long since you died. Enya and Tammy are looking everywhere. I want, desperately, to say You will be back. * There is nowhere to be or look without seeing you. * I walk the aisles of the grocery store I get so little of what we used to get. There you are squeezing a melon There you are looking to get Anything new for Enya and Tammy * I don’t go home I can’t face our kitties. * The bench near the river where we would talk and watch the river flow is where I need to … Continue reading How We Miss You

Her walk takes her to an old cemetery with a wrought iron gate. She is standing at the grave and looks down to see Autumn leaves, with dew glistening in the morning Sun. She turns to leave, but must turn back, and read, once again, the weather-beaten headstone: “Behold my dear child, with your eyes of innocence and poetry in your heart, The Promised Land” * Continue reading A Mother’s Mourning Walk

To have left the world, this time around, without making it a little better; what kind of life was that? To have family and friends, this time around, remember me as cynical, sarcastic, and pessimistic; what kind of memories are they? I will be the better, next time around, for letting the natural world and all its beloved life instruct me in the ways of stewardship. I will be the better, next time around, for listening with my heart and soul, to the children and let them guide me in the ways of innocence and wonder. And when I cross … Continue reading I Will Be The Better

I stand by your grave Hands clasped before me Breathing shallow Limbs weak and I summon every ounce of strength To stand and not fall. How will my heart endure your loss and all the memories of our time together. You said to live my life and find someone else. I laughed and said no woman is in the market for a man with a broken heart. With the most whimsical of smiles you said she is when she knows she is the one who can mend it. * Continue reading Goodbye My Love

It is five in the morning and dark out, I will walk when it is light. The Sun is warming a beautiful late October morning. I feel my mood brighten as I stroll the path and take solace in mindfulness. A neighbor nods with a smile and I nod with a smile. Her dog nods with a bark and I nod with a bark. I am at the point where the paths cross. I flip a coin then go left. I stop to rest, take a few deep breaths and bury my face in my hands, missing the long-ago spring … Continue reading An Ordained Walk